Chapter - 7 THE DIVINE LANGUAGE OF THE UNIVERSE “The Awakening”
CHAPTER 7 * STABILITY
Even if you are the most skilled acrobat, you would fall off the rope if there is no balance.
I was used to rewind the tape and experience the similar things over and over. I thought nothing I have applied was actually working. I read books and applied everything mention there, but nonetheless there was no stability at all. I was used to get together my mind but then everything kept falling into pieces.
Whenever I managed to get together my mind, people made me depressed with their wry comments on my behaviours such as “Why are you smiling for nothing? Are you insane? Are you out of your mind? How can you be that carefree since there is a lot to think? Is life that much easy? Why are you happy that much?”
Whenever I forgave anyone who have cheated or broken me, people were used to say “How can you forgive that easily? If I were you, I would have never forgiven and put him through the wringer! Will he get away with it?” I was agitated under the influence of such comments. I was used to hit bottom when was depressed. This time, they nagged: “Do you see that it is of no use what you are doing? I told you that these all are nonsense. Can things be alright just because of thinking positive? Can all the bills be paid through positive thinking? No way...”
One word, one reaction or behaviour of the people who I care was sufficient enough to tear down all of my works.
Especially the ones who I care and love making such comments made me hesitate: “I doubt whether being right or not? Or is this all nonsense and am I not aware of it? Why do I react to things that positively since everything is so difficult to cope with? Should I act like the others? Should I listen to what they say?”
I had troubles and suffered a lot in my life. Going through these experiences I learned, discovered things and get to know a little bit more about me.
I finally came to the realization that I could not retain my stability as long as I paid attention to their comments and reactions.
I understood that one of the most important things in my life at this stage was STABILITY.
I was not able to retain my stability while being exposed to any kind of negativity. No matter how much I was used say that I have forgiven someone, it would only lasted since the moment I saw s/he. Then I understood that I have not forgiven...
I got angry and could not control myself. I felt myself like an acrobat trying to walk on a rope; every time I lost the balance, I directly hit the bottom: “As-sırat must be something similar!”
I understood that the most major reason for me being stuck to the others’ comments were my fears!
As I was afraid of making mistakes, I used to make everything perfect. However, the more I was afraid of, the more I made mistakes. As I was afraid of failure, I was used to avoid undertaking it and if I did I was used to make it perfect as much as possible, thus no one can judge. When do people defend themselves? In case of any fear relating accusation, making mistakes, self-confidence or wherein s/he is really the one to be blamed.
I can clearly remember times, when I was blamed for no reason at all just because of my fear of accusation. I got angry when I heard people talked behind my back. And I was obliged to defend myself at every time. However, all of these were caused by my fear of accusation.
I knew that people should repeat some practices regularly for 21 days in order to make a habit of an action or indwell a frame of mind. So I decided to try this technique. I repeated my affirmations everyday with deep breaths of nose. Whenever possible, I wrote the events and names of people who bothered me on a plain paper and burned them. Whenever I got angry with someone I immediately breathed deeply from nose and thought “I accept and forgive you as how you are”. However, 21 days were not enough for me. I almost spent 3 months working on stability. It was very difficult but now I could manage...
Yes, I was more stable. But, as everyone else, negative feelings can be produced inside whenever I think of prior negativities. However, I immediately breathe from nose and repeat my affirmations, therefore negative thoughts flow away as they cannot manage to hang on.
Ups and downs tire people. It is a nice feeling to live as much as stable. Thank you my Creator!
Whichever technique you apply, it can only work if you are stable.
“I intend to be stable.”
“No matter who says what, my value would not be changed.”
“I completely accept and forgive every event and people I had experiences with.”
“I am aware of that their thoughts about me are sorts of creation in their own lives yet a test of acceptance and stability for me.”